Memories Never Die
“Tata” my son called and waved his hand to an old man who was walking on the other side of the road. As I turn and look out who is that man, my grocery bag had fallen from my hand. While I was busy collecting the grocery things, Arun my son just ran across the road towardsthe old man. I quickly collect my thing and ran chasing my son. “Arun!!” I yelled at him with an angry tone “why you ran crossing the road without telling Amma?” I kneeled down him and ask why he did that. “Amma, its tata. You seriously don’t recognize him?” asked my son to me pointing at the old man who was standing just beside us. “Aaaaa……pa”, my tears started to burst out from my eyes as I hold his hand knelled in front of him. “Appa, I’m really sorry for what I have done few years back and I have no other choice than doing like that at that situation,” I apologize to my father for the mistake that I had done eight years back. Even I knelled down my father and apologize to him but he didn’t see or talked to me. “Vani…vani” I could hear someone calling my name from far.
I couldn’t blink my eyes for a minute when I saw my mother running towards me while calling my name. “Amma…how are you Amma?” I asked my mother by hugging her tightly. “I’m fine Vani, where have you been for these eight years?” asked my mother to me and suddenly release me from her hug when she saw my son. “Is this your son?” my mother questioned me. I couldn’t answer all her questions but those questions had dragged me to my passed. I was a three months old baby when my parents adopted me from the child adoption centre because they don’t have child since they were married for five years. They take care me very well and with a lot of love but something unexpected happen where my mother conceive after six years. My parents were so happy and on the air when they get to know about that. That day was the day when I last received full attention and love from my parents where after that they started to give less attention to me because they have a child on their own now. After a year mother gave birth to another baby girl and now they have one baby girl and a baby boy excluding me. The love that I get from them when I was first adopted just lost in the air when they got their own child. I grew up in a situation of everyday hoping for love and tender from my parent. I got to know that I am an adopted child when I was eight years old when my mother got mad with my attitude after I broke her favourite flower vase. I still remember the word that she said to me that day, “If you are my own blood you won’t do this Vani,” Amma said that with a very disappointed tone which broke my heart into pieces. I will be treated as if I’m not in the house and been my siblings slave. My sibling both Tulasi and Senthil used to tease me and asked me to do all the house work but when Amma come house from work they will tell that I didn’t do anything. My life just goes on in dark cloud but I just accept whatever happens because my parents have lightened up life by adopting me. I was the best student in the school and always get good marks that made my sibling jealous of me. I just wanted to make parents proud of me and concentrate on my studies even when I went through a lot of obstacles my life. It was end of my school life where I just completed my STPM exam. Waiting for the result was the most nervous moment. Even for the previous exam’s I got straight A’s but my heart couldn’t stop beating fast when thinking about the result and the expression that will be given by my parents. Finally the result has been announced and few of them were flying on the sky with their result and some were crying of the unexpected low grade. I got really scared to take the result and at last manage to act brave and move to take my result. “Oh my god, thanks for the grace that you have showered me and saved me again from the scolding of my parents,” I said to myself when I saw my result where I got all A’s and walk forward to show it to my parents who has just arrived to fetch me from the school. As usual they just congratulate me and said nothing after that. I have applied for few local universities and also apply for scholarship because I knew that my parents won’t support me for my further studies. As the days pass and I was waiting for the result of university intake I gone through hell of days with my sibling. I tried my best to be close with them but yet they are not ready to accept me as one of their siblings or even one of their family members. Appa and Amma as usual busy with their work and other stuff rather than spending time with their children in the house. That was a rainy day, a postmen’s motorcycle cross my house so fast like a thunder and pass in a letter. It was a letter from one of the local universities and my name written on the cover. I was so excited to open and look at the letter. I got a place in National University of Malaysia to pursue bachelors in language studies and I was so happy to read that letter. I told to my parents when they arrived home after work and they don’t give any expression to my words. I was so disappointed with their attitude but I tell to Amma after she took her bath. I showed her the letter and the only word that she told me is, “vani, we cannot afford for your studies and if you manage to get scholarship then you can proceed with your decision,” I was speechless and just return to my room with loss of hope about my future. But god didn’t leave me in the mist where I received another letter few days after I got the letter from the university and it was the scholarship letter. Dark clouds turn into blue when I read the letter. My hope to further my studies has been fulfilled by god. I inform all about the scholarship and the date that I going to register to the university to my parents but yet they just tell me proceed with your decision and we not going to stop you. They just send me to the university for the first day of registration then just leave me and went off. The environment was totally new for me and that was the first time I’m being far from my family. Everything looks new and I feel so scared of my surrounding. I manage to make friend with a Chinese girl who was my roommate and we spend time together for the whole week of orientation. We had a very tiring week but yet we got to know each other very well. One week gone like an hour and I started my journey at the university as the student of language studies. There are only thirty students in my course but yet all of them are crazy on their own way and we enjoy our course and get along with each other very well. It was one windy and cloudy day when I first saw him walking across me to get his motorcycle in the parking lot. I never noticed him before in that place before or even any were in the campus. He was a tall, fair with short hair and good looking guy. That as the first day I saw him and forget him right after that day but one fine evening I met him again where he came to me asking where the counter to return books in the library. After that I saw him again in the cafeteria where he approached me while I was having my tea. “Excuse me can I have a seat over here,” he asked with a gentle voice. “Yes sure. There is no one sitting here,” I answered him politely. “I’m Sarvin, doing bachelors of business administration,” he introduced himself bring forward his hand to shake with me. “I’m Vani and I’m doing bachelors in language studies,” I replied him back. We had long talk in that evening till we didn’t realize it was 10pm. We shared a lot of thing and get to know each other’s background. Since that day we become very close friends where we eat our meals together and I spend most of my time with him. The relationship with him makes me realize the meaning of caring and tenderness which I didn’t get from my parents or even from my siblings. I started to have crush towards him where it grow into love later on. In most of the love story, the guy is the one who will propose to the girl but in my love life I did something crazy that no other girl would have ever done that. It was Valentine’s Day eve, I asked Sarvin to come to the usual place that we used to meet every day. I was well prepared with my plan to tell my love to Sarvin and he arrived at the place. “Hey, you look different today,” tells Sarvin to me while resting his bump in the wooden chair. “Owh, really, actually I wanted to tell you something important but I really scared to voice it out to you because I don’t want you to mistaken me,” I said that and walk to a wooden table just beside the chair where Sarvin was sitting. “I won’t mistake you, just speak out what you wanted to tell me?” said Sarvin to me and then he walked near me. He got shocked to see the things that I keep on the table. “Hey Vani what is this?” he asked me pointing the thing on the table. “This is a rope to hang my self, this is poison to drink and this is knife to cut my nerve,” I said to him laughing and explaining the use of each thing. “What’s the purpose you having all this things here” he asked me with a very angry tone. “actually Sarvin I love you so much and I really don’t know whether it’s wrong or not but I really serious about this,” I said with a guilty feeling “if you don’t like me or don’t like my attitude towards just give me one of this things in order for me to leave you permanently,” I said to him pointing to the things on the table. He was really shocked with my attitude and he was speechless for a few minutes which make me really nervous. “Vani……actually…,” before he could finish his sentences I interrupted “don’t hate me for what I have said, please,” I hold his hand and apologize to him. “Vani, listen to me. Actually I liked you the second time we meet and I didn’t really showed that to you because I don’t want you to think that me like the other guys who likes to flirt with girl,” he said to me while holding my hand to his chest. “I love you too my dear crazy girl,” he said to me smiling. Tears flow over my cheeks but my heart was flying in the skies when he said that he loves me too. That was the memorable day in my life and we become a sweet couple after that. At that moment I don’t really think about my parents and also about my siblings but I had made my mind to marry him after I have completed my studies. Sarvin also have the same thought but Sarvin already tell his family members about me and he also introduced me to them when once they visited him. His family members like me and they treated me as one of their family member and I was so happy to have quite a big family with a lot of love as my in law family. The love, care and tenderness that I couldn’t get from my family is going to be given by my in law family and I was so excited about that. Three years gone and it was my big day, my graduation day and the same goes to Sarvin. After the event I introduced Sarvin to amma and appa. “Amma…Appa...This is Sarvin,” I introduced him to my parents and they shake hand with him. “Ermmmmm…..actually we love each other since we met two years before”, I bravely told my parents and they got angry then my parents just left the place without telling anything. My parents face reaction made me really scared and I don’t know how to face them in the house. “Sarvin, I’m really scared and I don’t want to go back dear,” I told to Sarvin holding his hand. “Dear, you should go and convince your parents, don’t worry I will be always there for you,” Sarvin convince me and asked me to go back then talk to my parents. My parents were really mad at me and they don’t like Sarvin at all. They want me forget him and marry the person that they find for me. I just tell them one thing that I love Sarvin so much and I will not think about other guy in my life. Few week passes and my parents still stick with their decision so I have made up my mind to marry Sarvin without my parents’ permission. I called Sarvin and tell him my decision but at first he didn’t agree for that but later on he agreed. It was 21st of August; I sneak out of my house and went to marriage registration office to get marry with Sarvin. Sarvin and his family members were waiting for me and they were the one who arranged for our marriage. That was the happiest moment in my life but I didn’t realize that it going to end soon when something unexpected happens. After the marriage registration with the blessing of Sarvin’s family members we take off to temple for prayers. On the way to the temple our car met with an accident. Everything seems to be like a dream to me that time when I open my eyes and saw myself lying on the hospital’s bed surrounded with white all over the place. My heart beat really fast and the first thing I search for is Sarvin. “Where is Sarvin? Is he okay? I want to see him?” I asked everyone who was standing beside me but no one answered my question. The silence in that place make me scared and wonder what happen to Sarvin but I pray to god that he is fine with just a small injury in the man’s ward. “Can any one answer my question? Please” I begged to Sarvin’s family member. “Vani, please make yourself brave dear, Sarvin has left all of us”, Sarvin’s sister burst out crying after inform me that he is death and I have lost my destiny. I’m speechless and not even crying because he is everything for me which he promised will always there for me. I left everything for him and now he left me with nothing. “What should this happen to him Ma,”I burst out crying hugging Sarvin’s mother and everything is over in just a split second. My marriage life is just like a dream and everything ended after woke up from the sleep. I couldn’t go back to my parents because I just left them to live a happy life but now I have decided to live my life in the memories of Sarvin by adopting a child and give the child love and care which I have lost totally in my life. I manage to get a job in magazine advertising company that is suitable for my qualification and rented a small house for myself and lived my life in loneliness. Years passed by and I decided to adopt a child and fill my emptiness without my family member and also Sarvin with the child. I named him Arun which Sarvin planned to name our first child and now Arun is five years old. I told him that Sarvin is his father and he passed away when Arun was two months old baby. My life with Arun went through smoothly with most of the time we will be making crazy jokes and be there for each other. I will be always with Arun and give him the love he wants that I wanted. Since I ran away from my house I never meet my parents or even inform them about me and now I meet them in the street which my son recognize them. “Amma, this is my son Arun and he is five years old now”, I introduced Arun to my mother. “I’m really sorry ammma appa, I didn’t mean to hurt both of you but that time I have no other choice than ran out from the house”, I apologize to my parents. “Why don’t you send us letter or update us about you Vani”, appa finally spoke out. “I’m scared that you won’t accept us then I don’t want to burden you any more appa”, I hug my father and burst out crying. Me and Arun went to my parents’ house and had a great time with them. My parents have changed a lot and I am happy about that but I didn’t reveal to my parents about Sarvin’s death. They thought that Arun is my son with Sarvin and I just maintain with lie where Sarvin is always alive in my heart.
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